So I went over how the first guy, that I was with, and actually was starting to really like and all that shit, how he then asked me to prom, and then said oh shit he couldn’t take me.

Well then he went to junior prom anyways with one of his friends, even though he told me how much he hated prom and that’s why he couldn’t go with me.

Blah blah blah I felt like shit and I was like, okay if he can’t go with me he obviously doesn’t like me so I have to pick myself up and try and find a prom date.

And I did and he was great and we had great chemistry (notice the past tense) and I was not stressed and kinda happy for  a good two days, and then today he tells me that he has a family graduation that day and can’t come to my prom.

Back to square one.

Except this time prom is less than a month away, I have no date, I’ve basically been rejected twice, there is no help and like all I wanted was hopefully someone who was taller than me or someone I could have a fun time with. I didn’t need a romantic interest or someone who was drop dead gorgeous. But it just is such a fucking blow to my confidence, and I feel like such a failure. And I don’t understand why this is happening to me. Why I can’t just be able to go with a friend. Oh that’s right, all the guy friends are already taking someone. I don’t have any fucking options.

I am so angry

I am so hurt

And I am so mad at myself for getting myself into this situation.

I’m ready to show up alone, but then when I look back at the photos, I’ll be alone. And like, I don’t want to be ninety two years old and looking at old prom photos and seeing mine alone. I just. 

I can’t.